Buh bye diets

I have started clearing space in my kitchen. I have been going through my kitchen wares and donating things to Breast Cancer Research Foundation. 

In this process, I came face to face with many unused, dusty weight loss/controlling  cookbooks, scales and other dieting accoutrements. Several large cook books and points counters from Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, anti-inflammatory diets, raw food processing, etc. I am happy to be at a point in my life that I just smiled at these past vain efforts and tossed many and donated others. In general, I do not keep books these days; everything is online. If I want cooking ideas, Pinterest is my go-to. But I am not into "dieting" anymore. Any "diet" I follow these days are for health related reasons as I have GI issues. Liberating.

Now I do admit that I am overweight, and yes I would like a trimmer body. But I am not going to hate my body and "diet" for an artificial standard that is not even practical or feasible for a 61 year old woman with RA. I like curves. I mainly mourn the loss of my muscle tone. So I aim to eat and move in ways that make me feel better in my body. That is it.

BUT, I do try to avoid excessive exposure to fat phobic media and our cultural obsession with thinness and artificial beauty standards. That is so toxic, especially for women. One thing I am more tuned into and irritated by is people around me who perpetuate body shaming, whether it is towards others or themselves. It can range from overt fat phobic remarks to subtler perpetuations of our societal body shaming. One form this takes is when people who are not fat, comment about their bodies in a shaming way as if they are fat. Or act in dieting ways. I know that people raised in this culture are brainwashed into being critical of their bodies and never feel good enough. And I have compassion for us all in that regard. But I bristle when observing and have to hear non-fat people go on about themselves in a disparaging way as if they were fat. Wrong in so many ways. And annoying for actual fat people, lol. 

In the past I have let my irritation shape my responses and I usually point out that they are not fat. What are they talking about? Or challenge why they eat low fat, low calorie diets when they are not needing to diet. Yes, most respond with it being a health concern. Hmmm. OK. But we all know that that is the escape clause all body shammers use. And even healthy approaches can be taken to rigid extremes in my opinion.

I am now trying to mind my own business and refrain from unsolicited comments. I am not helping them. And I do not think I am making any dent in their body dysmorphia. So I am now just trying to love them as they are and not contribute to any body shaming attitudes. But it is a thin line between accepting them as they are and not wanting to be part of body controlling  energy. I have not figured out where and how to draw that boundary.  Feedback welcome!