I am sexually active but not like I was 20 years ago, 30 years ago or younger. Partly because I'm wiser with age and I know sex is much more than the sex act itself. The most important sex organ is between your ears.
My sex life is not as spontaneous as it once was because I have to prepare ahead of time. I have to make sure I am rested enough. I take pain medication before meeting so that I can move more easily. That is a must have. I like being seen at my best.
But sometimes I'm really too tired and in pain to do much. So we might lie naked with each other just stroking, talking, being silly, giggling. And I am never too tired or in pain to kiss and whisper sexy stories or secrets. I can touch and stimulate in a variety of ways that do not hurt me. These sensual encounters are so soothing and comforting to me and my lover. (It is not only me that sometimes need special considerations. My partner might also be too tired or dealing with body parts that aren't working cooperatively.) We always find ways to be sexual that don't rely on athletic performance0 It takes a creative mind and a cheerful playfulness. I have found enjoyment in so many more subtle ways and when I feel good on my medication, I can go back to my regular sexual antics!
The image to the left is a scene from Meet the Fockers, where Barbra Streisand's character is a sex therapist and she leads a workshop for older people wanting to improve their sex lives. She shamelessly addresses their physical limitations and attitudes. She teaches them to be playful when employing props and to be sensual in their mindset. I love this. I have props and love sensuality. I no longer wear high heels and tight sexy clothes to go out to clubs but rather I have a soft sensuality that I like to reflect with make up, soft skin, soft materials and atmosphere. The biggest sexual confidence booster is to feel sexy myself.This cute meme was made by my friend DL in support of me contemplating this post. I was complaining that in all my research on disability and sexuality, there was not much about people with rheumatoid arthritis and sexuality. So cute!
Everyone in their lifetime will experience physical disability in some form. It will be up to you as to whether it's sidelines your sexuality. Aging women are sexually invisible in our culture and disabled people are seen as asexual. Don't buy that crap!
Wonderful article, but so short?! Where is your follow up? Don't leave me hanging. I've been living with my "grocery list" of auto immune issuses for years. Finally someone is talking about what really needs to be discussed!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for seeing your comment late.Thank you! I do tend to write brief blog entries because I believe that is the attention span of most readers. Also , I will churn out more tales and stories if they are not exhaustive endeavors. I have art to create and a cat named Bimi to love and much shenanigans to get into. I welcome suggestions for topics.
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