Shoulder surgery recovery - day 9

 

It has been nine days since my big shoulder surgery. I had my rotator cuff and labrum repaired and general cleanup. But the big thing was also reattaching my bicep tendon which had ruptured from my shoulder. This terrible injury did not occur from some spectacular feat or accident; rather it just exploded with the most mundane of little tasks. My RA has damaged so many of my joints that even the muscles and cartilage are fragile; and all this damage started from lifting a gallon of milk! After surgery, my surgeon told me that the bicep was in such terrible shredded condition that he did not hold much hope that it would really adhere and take to the anchors, so it is a wait-and-see. 

As it is my dominant side that is injured, I am very limited in what I'm able to do. I have an elaborate sling, which keeps my elbow and arm propped out at an angle. I swear the designers of this sling were men; the bolster that keeps my arm out, is in line with my breasts, and they vie for positioning. My breast wins, and my bolster keeps being pushed down to my waist which doesn't keep my elbow propped out. And that causes pain and strains attachments. It is a constant readjustment all day. If a woman had designed this, I believe she would've made an indentation that would allow for the breast to rest inside the bolster, thus keeping my sling in alignment at the proper height. 

I am finding new ways to do things, such as an electric toothbrush, waterpik, and Apple dictation to write this post. But by far the biggest adjustment has been reluctantly accepting the fact that I need an aide.  Prior to my surgery. I thought I would need help for maybe 3 to 5 days but it has become apparent that I cannot do so many things. Also, I have been off my RA medication for three weeks and have another week to go, this means that my RA is flared up and it is extremely painful to walk, even to stand. My hands are extremely useless and painful. RA DMARD and biologic medications suppress your natural immune system. That is necessary because my immune system attacks my own tissues. When you're healing from an infection, surgery or illness, you must be off the RA medications, as it inhibits your healing. So combine the shoulder surgery with untreated, RA, and I'm virtually hobbled.

Enter my dear friend DL. DL has been staying with me since the surgery and I have come to rely on him so much. This makes me very uncomfortable as I am a very independent person. I am known to be an impatient patient. I often push before I'm ready.  Accepting the help I need taxes my patience and strong willful spirit.

As a person with an autoimmune illness, I am used to being physically challenged. But now I feel downright disabled. And that is a hard reality to accept. I am told this will be a long recovery, 4 to 6 months. Two months in this restricted sling. I am so grateful to DL for staying with me giving me the help I need and I find that I often worry about his motivation. I think surely he must be getting tired of me and he'll leave tomorrow and how will I make do? But I am learning to trust in his love for me, and accept that what he says is true that he will be here for me as long as I need. What a gift and I am a fool if I do not accept it with gratitude and wholeheartedness, I am very lucky. True friends are a life treasure.