Another birthday rolls around. 63!

Walk Among the Stars, ATC, mixed media, 2025 dlRomero

I turned 63 recently and have been celebrating Deb Fest all month. Jelly pedicure, massage (my first since my spinal surgeries!), good food, new art supplies. While I try to act gracious about my aging, inside I cringe. But as they say in 12 step: Fake it 'til you make it.

I do dye my hair, wear makeup, wax and choose to be on HRT. I am a queer femme. (alpha  twist) It is going to be interesting to age while retaining my youthful energy and sensuality. Also, I have the added burden (yes, I say burden because that is how I feel about it now) of living with disability.

Female, brown, queer, 60+ and disabled in the US... I am going to have to really dig deep to transcend the mainstream expectation of what that looks and acts like.  There are not that many examples. 

My first step toward age acceptance was to take an honest assessment of what I need to live fully. My walker, HRT, lube, beauty salon (in my case I go to the Aveda School for inexpensive services), low heels and comfortable clothes, medication. physical therapy. These are but a few of the things I now need to live comfortably. Then, and only then, am I being creative to embody those new living tools with a style that reflects my inner goddess. She is sassy, sensual, colorful, loving and creative. 

You would think that this order would be logical, but no. I kept putting my first step as employing items and practices from my younger days. I keep rejecting my walker; but until I know I do not need it anymore, I have to proceed as if I will continue to use it. I also have difficulty accepting that I need to leave behind any type of higher heels.  I was not a stiletto girl, but I definitely liked a wedge or cute sandals with a little bit of heel. But since my spinal surgeries and RA, I my joints need the stability and comfort of low heels. 

I do think I have great legs, but I'm not one for short shorts or skirts anymore. 

One good thing is that I never once felt frumpy wearing glasses. I love frames like other women love to collect shoes. I notice frames on other women and I comment and engage in chitchat around it. When I was actively dating, I would go to a few singles functions or happy hours and men there told me I had a sexy librarian vibe because of my glasses. I thought OK, great. If that works for you, it works for me. Women did not say such silly things.

I took this photo of myself last week before we went to Bahama Breeze, where I toasted my birthday with Bahama Rita's, my favorite cocktail. Initially, I was delighted. I like the colors and my smile. But a quick second later, my attention zoomed onto my softer jowls and neck. I wasn't going to post this picture but then I thought about it and thought hey this is how I look at 63. My neck and skin is creepier and looser. And it is still a nice portrait. The colors, the large earrings, the lipstick and highlighted curls. I felt cute.

Maybe because I had aging on my mind, I made this ATC of an older woman jauntily walking with beautiful red skirt and her backpack. I placed her in a cosmic setting and call it "Walking Among the Stars". Wouldn't you know it, clipart images of older women  enjoying themselves in creative, lovely ways are scarce. When I did find images, they were always of white women and drawn in a caricature style that was more comical than lovely. There are some images of older black women that are elegant, often with a religious angle. Forget about finding any using assistive walking devices.

As a crafty mermaid, I am part of a community which shares ATC's and makes paper mixed media together. Literally all the art that I see in this community features cutsie images of young people with lovely sentiments, a la Lifetime movie style. Hey, I watch Lifetime movies occasionally, but only in small doses. I cannot take the sanitized, saccharine settings and storylines. 

I am trusting that my art will find its own niche market. I want to highlight older women living with integrity and flare. Also issues that I consider important to my life as well as our times. I hope to get as old as the woman depicted in my ATC. And I hope I am as whimsical, fun and expressive as my lady walking among the stars.