Scary times

This is an ATC that I call Free Palestine. I do not know the woman pictured; she represents all Palestinian women enduring Isreal's (with US dollars) genocide.

These days, I am creating much art in my journals that deal with human struggles and dire times. Seeing the erosion of democracy happening every day in the US is so disheartening and scary.  

As a progressive activist in the 80s and 90's, I remember thinking that things then were so bad: the wars we were involved in abroad and Reaganomics at home surely was indicative of a political system in decline. There was so much organizing. And yes, Apartheid did crumble, LGBTQ gains were made and there was general support for anti-racist struggles in the US. I felt the future would be better.

Then a momentous backlash occurred; why did we not prepare adequately for this? Patriarchal white supremacy, the foundation of this country's wealth, would not go out with a whimper. The left had long ignored working with the Democratic Party. So much so, that we now have a two party system that is really a one party system. And a left that is unorganized, tired, and ill prepared.

It is easy to think that President Trump is the main bogeyman. We want to think that if we just get rid of him, things will go back to pre-Trump days. No. While he is a figurehead, the far right backlash is fueled  by the 1%. Basically, this pushback centers around enabling the rich to keep more of their money, at any cost. Forget equality, forget climate change, forget justice. 

Judges, challenging unconstitutional presidential directives are rounded up and jailed. Brown US citizens, mostly Latinos, are being held illegally in detention camps or deported without due legal process.  The legal rights of activists are all being abolished with the hysterical cries against Antifa. The police are now more weaponized and have been given the green light to act as ICE officials as well as Antifa hunters. And the uber rich keep getting richer

So, you can see why I have nightmares and why my art reflects some grim realities. My housemate, DL, told me this morning of a dream he had last night. He dreamt that he was with a group of people that were trying to stop a train full of Nazis. Ultimately, they were unsuccessful, but he does remember that they all remained hopeful. Another dear friend, S, tells me how her autoimmune illness, Chronic Fatigue (CFS) is flared up worse than it's ever been before. Not surprisingly, she also tells me how brokenhearted she is these days. Her grief pours out of her for the people of Palestine, undergoing Israel's genocidal onslaught. And myself. I have a raised generalized anxiety these days about the plight of our country and my own security.

I love watching movies, especially mysteries and thrillers. But these days, I cannot watch a movie about war or a dystopian/apocalyptic future; because these situations don't seem so far-fetched for me. I can easily see the world being reduced to these kind of nightmare landscapes. The atrocious headlines I see every day are so disheartening. I'm finding it hard to remain hopeful.

BUT, remaining content, and yes, hopeful is still possible and more important than ever. Seeking good news about resistance, on all levels, helps.  There are good people who see community as sacred gifts and who see love at the center of all our actions. 

Perhaps I'll take a spiritual break and send my cat, Bimi, to do some community organizing in my name.  Yes, Mr. Bigglesworth* is no match for the lefty kitty,  Bimini!

 

* for those in the dark, Mr Bigglesworth is the evil mascot of Mr. Evil in Austin power movies

Another birthday rolls around. 63!

Walk Among the Stars, ATC, mixed media, 2025 dlRomero

I turned 63 recently and have been celebrating Deb Fest all month. Jelly pedicure, massage (my first since my spinal surgeries!), good food, new art supplies. While I try to act gracious about my aging, inside I cringe. But as they say in 12 step: Fake it 'til you make it.

I do dye my hair, wear makeup, wax and choose to be on HRT. I am a queer femme. (alpha  twist) It is going to be interesting to age while retaining my youthful energy and sensuality. Also, I have the added burden (yes, I say burden because that is how I feel about it now) of living with disability.

Female, brown, queer, 60+ and disabled in the US... I am going to have to really dig deep to transcend the mainstream expectation of what that looks and acts like.  There are not that many examples. 

My first step toward age acceptance was to take an honest assessment of what I need to live fully. My walker, HRT, lube, beauty salon (in my case I go to the Aveda School for inexpensive services), low heels and comfortable clothes, medication. physical therapy. These are but a few of the things I now need to live comfortably. Then, and only then, am I being creative to embody those new living tools with a style that reflects my inner goddess. She is sassy, sensual, colorful, loving and creative. 

You would think that this order would be logical, but no. I kept putting my first step as employing items and practices from my younger days. I keep rejecting my walker; but until I know I do not need it anymore, I have to proceed as if I will continue to use it. I also have difficulty accepting that I need to leave behind any type of higher heels.  I was not a stiletto girl, but I definitely liked a wedge or cute sandals with a little bit of heel. But since my spinal surgeries and RA, I my joints need the stability and comfort of low heels. 

I do think I have great legs, but I'm not one for short shorts or skirts anymore. 

One good thing is that I never once felt frumpy wearing glasses. I love frames like other women love to collect shoes. I notice frames on other women and I comment and engage in chitchat around it. When I was actively dating, I would go to a few singles functions or happy hours and men there told me I had a sexy librarian vibe because of my glasses. I thought OK, great. If that works for you, it works for me. Women did not say such silly things.

I took this photo of myself last week before we went to Bahama Breeze, where I toasted my birthday with Bahama Rita's, my favorite cocktail. Initially, I was delighted. I like the colors and my smile. But a quick second later, my attention zoomed onto my softer jowls and neck. I wasn't going to post this picture but then I thought about it and thought hey this is how I look at 63. My neck and skin is creepier and looser. And it is still a nice portrait. The colors, the large earrings, the lipstick and highlighted curls. I felt cute.

Maybe because I had aging on my mind, I made this ATC of an older woman jauntily walking with beautiful red skirt and her backpack. I placed her in a cosmic setting and call it "Walking Among the Stars". Wouldn't you know it, clipart images of older women  enjoying themselves in creative, lovely ways are scarce. When I did find images, they were always of white women and drawn in a caricature style that was more comical than lovely. There are some images of older black women that are elegant, often with a religious angle. Forget about finding any using assistive walking devices.

As a crafty mermaid, I am part of a community which shares ATC's and makes paper mixed media together. Literally all the art that I see in this community features cutsie images of young people with lovely sentiments, a la Lifetime movie style. Hey, I watch Lifetime movies occasionally, but only in small doses. I cannot take the sanitized, saccharine settings and storylines. 

I am trusting that my art will find its own niche market. I want to highlight older women living with integrity and flare. Also issues that I consider important to my life as well as our times. I hope to get as old as the woman depicted in my ATC. And I hope I am as whimsical, fun and expressive as my lady walking among the stars.

April Challenge with Lindy's Gang

April ushered in a new color challenge with Lindy's Gang. The challenge requires you to use at least two Lindy's Gang products as well as two of this month's challenge ingredients. April's challenge ingredients were hexagon shapes and an embossing folder. 

I made these tags using four Lindy's Gang magical powders from the Gypsy Vibes collection: Smudge the Sage, Gypsy Soul Slate, Flickering Fairy Lights and Rosewood Rouge. And a flat Fabio spray in Pineapple Paradise.

These tags are my humble start in working with Lindy's paints and paper crafts. I see many things "wrong" with these tags. The yellow in the beehive cut out was too strong for the rest of the tag, and my embossing was not as crisp and three-dimensional as I would've liked. I am also working my paints too much so they are bleeding into each other.

I'm wet behind the ears. I look at others in the collective and their works are so WOW! But we all start somewhere and I am learning a lot with each challenge.

If you are interested in mixed media, I encourage you to try Lindy's Gang products. Use my code: DEBORAHSFL at check-out for 10% discount.

Vote your choice! Help me initiate my new laptop

 Last Fall, I got a new Macbook Pro. I joined the modern era and switched from a desktop to a laptop. I am still in love with its shiny silver casing and accessories. But now, despite my best efforts, it's not so shiny and new. So I have decided to put a sticker on the top of my lap top. This is a big move for me as I've cherished the sleek apple design. 

Thanks to Temu, I have a large collection of stickers. I like to gift them or grace them on unexpected public surfaces. In my younger years, I had a car filled with bumper stickers. Not so anymore. I do worry about vandalism and harassment in this red state I live in; that is not a paranoid thing nowadays. Also, I lease my car and will have to return it in great condition without gummy residue. So I'll settle for my laptop. You may notice that I like things with humor. This sticker will be speaking to me daily, so I don't need an education on a topic. I like to smile when I open my laptop. 

Now, all you lurkers out there, this is your chance to shine. I hope I'm pleasantly surprised. I see lots of numbers in my statistics but very rarely do I hear from anyone in the comment section. I hope all of you will take part in this poll. Know that I do not collect any information about you if you vote. Also, kudos to me for being fancy shmancy and learning how to add a poll.

PS: even my cat got in on. this action.