Squiggly lines

 

I have not painted in months. The last thing I painted was a simple design. As you can see from this photo, my hands were not able to hold the brush with any authority and I was not able to make smooth lines or circles. When I saw this, I was so devastated for my lack of physical abilities. I put away my brush for several months.

My sister, M, and my friend S, gave me great advice: Accept where I am right now with my abilities and make that part of my creative expression. Create a new style of art that incorporates my squiggly lines.  It was affirming and brilliant, but I find it hard to get on board with it. Sigh.

Fast-forward several months and I am one and a half months post cervical spinal surgery. While I am dealing with a possible surgical complication, I have great improvement in my hand, dexterity and grip with my right hand. My left hand is still suffering with burning neuropathy and numbness, but since I am right handed, I am happy to report that the decrease in symptoms has allowed me to pick up a brush again.

I wanted to start with something not too challenging so I decided to design my own pumpkin for Halloween. I chose to create floating circles and on another one, floating shapes. My hands are still not totally normal in their dexterity, but I was able to draw pretty good circles with my right hand! I am thrilled.

I still have neuropathy, especially harsh in my left hand, and I do not know if that will ever go away. So my lines still are not as smooth as before. But I will work on accepting my art as a reflection of me as I am. My evolving artistic style may still incorporate squiggly lines . 

What is your version of squiggly lines?  Here's to everyone that has to accept less than perfect things about themselves.