Romantic hotel weekend - over 55 edition

I stayed in a hotel for a fun long weekend with a special guy (let's refer to him as TDH: tall dark and handsome). We have spent time together, but several days together is fairly new.  I once had a stay in a romantic bed and breakfast with my girlfriend in the 1990's; but I have not had any hotel romance since then. Lots has changed.

First and foremost, I have changed. Thirty years have passed and so has my athletic body. I was navigating what I wanted to be a sexy, romantic getaway, with a 62 year old body riddled with autoimmune pain and fatigue.

I cringed when TDH greeted me at my car when I arrived. Not because he did that - that was sweet. But I had to tell him to look for my car in handicapped parking spot. You see, even though I get together with TDH often, I choreograph my health status to appear most "normal" when on dates. But on a several day escape, I would not be able to do that ongoing.  I made a celebratory remark about finally getting my handicap placard, but inside, it felt like another blow to my sense of independence. I have work to do on that.

Also, while he knows about my RA issues and that I live in chronic pain and sometimes I use canes, he had not seen me using my cane. When I got out (after a couple hour drive), my back was extra hurting. So I stood with painful difficulty and was heavily relying on my cane. Another thing that I think may have surprised him was the slowness of my mobility getting out and getting going. This is something I experience with other friends. They do not realize that my mobility and hand dexterity is slowed down and so I am constantly have to ask for them to slow down. I am not sure, but I think this was surprising to him and my insecurity about being less able bodied yet still desirable was pricked. Again, I have work to do on that. The lovely in the image to the left has the style and look I aim for. I think I nailed it this weekend. 

Fatigue is an also a characteristic of RA. So general fatigue coupled with a pain pill and a beer caused me to fade early. During dinner, I told him I needed a 20 minute cat nap but would be up shortly to continue our evening. But he decided to lie down with me and when I was ready to get up after 20 minutes, he was down for the count. Poor guy. You see, he stays in hotels often for his job and invited me to stay with him since this stay was fairly local. He was working in the day and joining me for evenings. He told me to enjoy my days and go to the beach. But he was also tired. It was funny as neither of us jumped into an erotic thrill  as soon as we entered our suite. We were affectionate, but prioritized getting settled and a yummy meal. Then we konked out early, LOL. So much for the sensual massage with happy ending I planned. My hands were not up for that anyway. But, you know, it was real and it was intimate. The comfortability. The concern for one another. It was sweet, humorous and led us into a scaled back lusty intimacy. 

Some ways in which I made this escape nicer than that of my younger self is that I prepared better. Wiser woman! My 30-something self was not as tuned into my sexuality and gender identity; not by a long shot. As I have written before, I am embracing a sensuality that is vibrant, feminine (to my view) and tailored to my needs. I no longer am trying to be sexy through a societal lens that does not suit me. 

I wore a few new outfits that I really like. They are modern and tailored;  I get alterations on key pieces of my wardrobe. If you're a plus size girlie, I recommend Eloqui for some nice offerings. They are way better than the frumpy offerings of most plus size retailers, So fly clothes made me feel good. Special makeup and accessories completed my looks. He appreciated my going out of the way to make this a special experience. I also brought sex props for our enjoyment. Why be uncomfortable? 

But mainly, the biggest plus to going on a romantic escape now is that I know what I want and I plan ways to get it. This sounds simple but actually required many years of work. I grew up with ignorant, man-centered attitudes of sexuality. I was ignorant of my body and sexuality for the first several decades. Unlearning shame, healing traumas, discovering woman centered sexual pleasure and sex positivity has helped me finally be able to truly enjoy a thrilling mutually pleasuring romantic getaway. 

I highly recommend it!