Rest in power Moumita Debnath

Trigger warning: sexual violence

On 9 August 2024, Moumita Debnath, a trainee doctor at R. G. Kar Medical College in Kolkata, West Bengal, India, was raped and murdered in a college building. This case has really shaken me. 

After a 30+ hour shift at the hospital, Moumita tried to catch some winks on site in a  student auditorium. The following day, her body was found dead, brutally gang raped, and murdered. Initially police covered it up as suicide, but as details emerged, it is an astounding case of brutality involving sex trafficking.

Many news outlets have chosen to cover the story without mentioning the actual acts of violence perpetrated on Moumita for their audience's sake. They are already prefacing the stories with trigger warnings, so why not tell the truth. We need to bear witness. Moumitas body was found with her upper half on a raised surface and her legs hanging off at an unnatural angle. She was covered with 113 bite marks, broken bones throughout her body, glass shards in her eyes, her legs were pulled so far apart that her pelvis was broken open and she contained enough semen to determine that over 17 men had ejaculated inside of her.

Just sit with that.

Doctors, healthcare workers, and the general population have been protesting, calling for justice. Doctors have gone on strike, canceling all elective surgeries. Public outcry has forced police to investigate the cover-up.

Moumitas parents were initially told she committed suicide. Their insistence on the autopsy report revealed the truth. We now know that Moumita was one of a long line of healthcare workers at that hospital who have died in suspicious circumstances. The one thing they all have in common is that they all began to suspect and attempt to expose sex trafficking occurring within the hospital setting. Clearly, an example was made of Moumita as to what would happen to women standing up for their integrity and safety. The many men involved in this murder have not been apprehended.

I asked a friend who is very up-to-date on international and political news if he had heard of this case and he had not. We need to spread this story around so that we bear witness to the sexual and gender based violence that occurs around the world. This is not just a problem in India. In our own backyards, there are women slain through male violence. It's so common. We can not just sigh and move on. Women are half the world, we can rise up and say no more! It will take organizing, courage, tenacity. 

Are you in?

Twin Peaks

 

In recovery circles, there is a saying, revolving around an acronym, HALT, which refers to stopping and re-grounding yourself when you find yourself hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. I recently found myself out by myself when I was physically in pain, very tired,  and having just come out of a disappointing doctors appointment. I remembered HALT. I needed to regroup. Luckily I have no qualms going to a restaurant by myself so I set about finding a nice place to relax and eat.

Among the restaurants near me was Twin Peaks, a sports bar a la Hooters. The draw at Twin Peaks are the waitresses which sport a teasing top, showing off their lovely Twin Peaks. It also has a great menu and televisions at every booth, not to mention the walls and bar. 

On that particular day, I was looking for a place to rest and watch the 2024 Paris Olympics semifinal in men's basketball. So I hobbled into Twin Peaks on my walker and was immediately buoyed by the loud cheers of the mostly male guests. The whole bar was watching the game and it was a good one! Electricity was in the air.

I was happy to be there. Now, I have been to Hooters and Twin Peaks several times and I always make a point to connect with the waitress and try to find something to genuinely complement her that isn't the obvious T and A. I complimented my waitress on her bling as her belt was completely bedazzled in rhinestones and her boots were as well. She told me about the Twin Peaks uniform guidelines and was enthusiastic explaining her choices as to how she personalizes her uniform.

I had a particularly nice interaction with this waitress so before I left, I told her that she was lovely both in personality and in looks and she radiated warmth. I told her that when I was her age (under 25), I looked at my body with harsh criticisms and felt insecure about my looks, but now, having gained and wisdom, I see how beautiful I was. I see now that I was beautifully flawed and quite beautiful. I told her that I hope she realizes how striking she is and she, in turn, told me her criticisms and unhappinesses with her body. I left her with a wish for her to see and appreciate her beauty now and not have to wait 40 years to do so.

I told a dear male friend about this interaction and he asked me why I make more of a point to try to connect with the waitresses in this particular restaurant over others and I replied because I am sensitive to the sexual objectification of these waitresses. He responded by saying those waitresses choose to work there and that they are making money off their looks; more than waitresses who do not dress provocatively. So how, he asked, how were they were being exploited?

Another male friend told me he felt that as long as we live in a society that does not provide free education, healthcare and childcare, women will often find they have to use their bodies to make the income they need. And that is exploitation. 

What do you think about this issue?

No matter what you think, if you find yourself wanting to catch a game at a sports bar, I do recommend the Twin Peaks Caribbean cocktail, pepperoni flatbread, grilled asparagus and caramel apple turnovers. Sit in a booth with your own TV.

And please, tip generously.